The truth is, the biggest part of me cannot wait until it's summer and I can go back home.

This country, this city, the people in this city, the people I am forced to spend almost every day with, are bringing out the worst part of me, and I am not liking it. I am not liking what I am turning into.

I used to be one of the most positive person, thoughtful, idealistic, fair, productive, patient, and then this country and its people happened. I've always had this façade of being the most pessimistic person in a room, but people close to me knew I am the most idealistic person there is. Probably one of the major reasons why I always try my best to find the goodness in everyone, and probably also one of the major reasons why I am always "used and abused", as Asmae would say. I do not want to be a cynic, and I'm afraid that slowly I am turning to be exactly that kind of person.

Inside I am crying for the version of me that is slowly fading, being drowned by this newer, meaner, version I am becoming.

Maybe I'm overreacting, or maybe I am not.

Labels: I love Milano, Mabuhay Pilipinas, Pouting, Si Dindin, Silly Me, Viva Italia

For one frivolous (for some people) reason, and for so many other reasons, all at the same time...

Some times I feel like moving here was the wrong move to make...

Tonight (wow, it's almost 3AM) is one of those times. My mind starts to wander to places, some of them dark, and I start to ask myself silly questions that are sometimes scary 'cause I can't think of an answer... I start to wish of things, people, and situation that are so out of reach... Then I start to tell (convince) myself that this, whatever this may be, is better than living the next couple of years with "What ifs".

And if given the chance to go back in time, I just might do things exactly as I did them now. But you see, there's a big difference about being sure and confident about the decisions you make, and actually living them. Because most of the time your decisions do not depend on what you solely want to happen.


Note to self: STOP stalking * online. So NOT healthy! (-_-)

Labels: doing it the soap-opera way, I love Milano, Mabuhay Pilipinas, Si Dindin

The last couple of months have been unbelievable.
I finally decided to move out. I moved not just to a different city, but a different country. It's not a strange country 'cause I did stay here for, more or less, 10 years, so it's not as difficult as one may think. And it's not like I'm totally living on my own, since (most probably) more than half of what I'm spending comes from my financier, the Mother Goose. :-P But you get the idea. So far, so good. And I am proud to announce that both Andi and I are still alive. Hehehe.

_______________

I'm putting the Project 365 on hold, because the last few months of transition didn't give me enough time to take a picture every single day. Just so you know, I plan to restart on my 27th birthday. [When I feel like I'll feel (paulit-ulit? Hehehe.] so grown up! Hahaha.)

I missed blogging, I miss my MAC, I missed Twitter, I miss my Canon, I miss fast internet and painless router... I miss Milano [and everyone (and everthing) in it], and I miss you (you probably don't care, but, yes, I do miss you.) - so near, yet so far lang ang drama. Hahaha.

I have at least a year to see how things will turn out 'till I have to make another decision. I'm keeping my fingers crossed.

Wish me luck. Keep me in your heart. And pray for me.

Labels: Andi, Famiglia, I love Milano, I'm thinking of YOU, Mabuhay Pilipinas, Project 365, Si Dindin

Today was weird.

I woke up 30 minutes before my clock.. Well, alarmed. I tried going back to sleep, but couldn't. So, I just stayed in bed, awake, doing nothing, except to stare blankly at the nothingness in front of me.

On my way home, inside the bus, I felt like I was running out of air to breathe. I had to get off two bus stops early. It was a good long walk, I started to feel calm.

The whole day felt so dragging... And I wanted to cry. Not the normal, demure cry I often do. I wanted to cry, the hagulgol kind of cry.

What's up with that?
I'm feeling a bit better by the way.
Off to bed now. Night-night.

Labels: doing it the soap-opera way, I love Milano, Si Dindin, Silly Me

I think I just found the perfect song to describe what I feel.

I tell you, sometimes, everything seems to be so weird. I was waiting in line to pay for my lunch when the girl next to me decided to take off her headphones and let her iPod's speaker do the singing.

Para lang akong sinapok.


I wrote some of the words I could remember as soon as I sat down, because I knew that I just had to look it up on YouTube when I'm home.

Labels: I love Milano, I'm thinking of YOU, Silly Me, That's Amore

More than 35€ down the drain.

So, some days ago I ordered some stuff from KIKO's online store, mainly because I don't like long queue, but also because delivery cost would be 0€. Happiness, right? Wrong. After I paid everything via Paypal, the whole KIKO site went kaput. After receiving an e-mail from Paypal confirming the transaction, I immediately went back to KIKO's website only to find out I spent more than 35€ for nothing. I contacted KIKO, and they asked me to send them a copy of Paypal's email to me, and so I did. And then came nothing-ness. Never heard from them again. I emailed them 3 more times, and still... Nothing.

Can you see the Euro going down the drain? I can! Pero mas nakaka-badtrip yung hindi nila pag-sagot! Bwiseeeeetttt... :-|

Labels: I love Milano, KIKO, Silly Me

Months ago I made a decision. Something that will affect where, with whom, and how I would live the next few years. I'm not really a risk taker. Most times, I only risk when I already have a fallback plan ready. This time I actually have 2. You know, just in case my first fallback plan fails.

I'm the type of person who, when my bottle of shampoo, conditioner, body wash, face cream, or tube of toothpaste, or our box of orange juice or milk, are only 1/4 full, I start buying a new one. I don't think I've reached a point of hoarding naman, I just want to make sure I don't run out of something I need. That's being rational, right?

A friend told me I'm not helping myself with all these fallback plans, and playing safe, and I'm jinxing my own self, and all that... But... Is it really so wrong to play safe?

Labels: Eskwela, Friends, I love Milano, Mabuhay Pilipinas, Si Dindin, The US of A

For the past couple of days, every morning, while I wait for the bus, I see this man jogging.


Nothing strange, right? Wrong. I don't know why, and I don't have the guts to ask, but he jogs barefoot.



Anyway, because I always feel jealous everytime friends (most of the time, Em) post pictures of them having sushi, and because I started to crave for it... I had this for dinner yesternight. Yum.


Though I still can't bring myself to enjoy the Salmon roe (or whatever the hell you call it) sushi.

Blech.

Good night! :-)

Labels: Buhay ng may Buhay, Friends, I love Milano, Lights Camera Action

Today is the day.

I woke up, brushed my teeth, ate breakfast, groomed Andi, took a shower, skipped lunch, brushed my teeth (again), got dressed, and prepared all the papers I'll be needing for my 14.30 appointment at the C. office.

I leave behind the door that slammed too loud for my taste. Waited for the bus, then the metro, then the bus again. As I set foot on that 2nd bus I had to take, I said to myself, "It's now, or never." It's either they grant me what I've been requesting since last May, or I'll just forget about it. I've lived my life without it before, I can surely continue living without it.

The Universe conspired. The people at the C. were, surprisingly and weirdly, nice, and smiling. I had to wait a little too long, as in an hour and a half long, but i got what I came for. My request was finally granted.


I WANT YOU ALL TO CONGRATULATE ME! Gow!
(And for now, let's not worry about the fact that I have to go back to the C. to apply for an E-passport.)



And there's more... I came home to this:


Yay! I've been waiting for this letter, because I love hand-written letters! I love letters I can actually hold in my hands. Hand-written letters are like letters with personality. :-)


Kumi, thank you very much for the hand-written ala Twitter letter! Hehehe. The first thing that came to my mind when I saw the paper was GG! Hahaha. When Mamma saw the envelope she was surprised to see that you used pink ink! I thought it was normal, after all, you're the girl who chase beautiful things. Me? I already had the pleasure of using red, gold, and even silver (but I won't recommend silver, mahirap sya basahin, at napagalitan ako ng ale sa post office), aside from black, of course. Hahaha.

Have a good, good night everyone! :-)

Labels: Andi, Friends, I love Milano, Lights Camera Action, Mabuhay Pilipinas, Si Dindin

So, after (the-much-awaited-and-equally-dreaded) July 15th appointment, I decided not to go online because I felt so frustrated. On the 20th, once again, I'm going back to their office to try my luck (once again) and (once again) see if this time my request will be granted. I'm still a bit irritated. Like what I told Xara, when she texted me to check what happened with people at the C, I didn't want to go online just to rant— Badtrip pa ako! I don't want to spread the negative vibes.

You see, I actually don't mind going back every-single-time they arrange an appointment, and find out that none of them were there because something suddenly came up; an emergency meeting, an emergency trip to Rome, they couldn't find my application form because the one who filed it was sick, or simply everyone got sick. I mean seriously. The thing that (almost) made me mad, was how annoyed they were when they found out my application was filed last May 5th, and was still in-process as if it was my fault.. Hello?! It's not my fault that every time THEY gave me an appointment something would "suddenly" come up, and they won't even pick the phone to inform me about it.

Three days after my most-recent-appointment with the C, I'm still pissed. So, this afternoon I decided to go to a bookstore. Bookstores make me feel calm, they make me happy, they make me feel at home. I like how people tend to respect everyone at bookstores, regardless of race, gender, and age. I love how everyone respect the unwritten rule of silence.

Summer sales are ongoing here. I was surrounded with books from all over that had GIGANTIC AND COLORFUL STICKERS that read "3 x 2: Compri 3 libri, ne paghi solo 2!" (You can choose 3 books and only pay 2 of them!), "-25%", and "-30%" on them. There was no way I could say no, and turn my back on those books. Absolutely. No. Way.


With 5 books in my colorful eco-bag, I headed home, feeling better, with more positive vibes to share with everyone.


Though this probably means I can't buy anymore books until Chirstmas, or maybe September, since it'll be my birthday, hehehe.

Let's keep the good vibes flowing. :-)

Labels: Book Porn, I love Milano, Lights Camera Action, Mabuhay Pilipinas, Si Dindin

My dose of sports for this year ends today, the day Italia got eliminated from the World Cup 2010. Azzurri's first 2 games were disappointing, yes. Both ended in a tie. Though, I still think that most of the players from other teams played dirty, nothing compares to what I feel, and think of Slovakia's players. At least, yung ibang teams hindi sobrang pa-tama sa oras, at hindi nangho-hostage ng bola! Ugh!

I'm honest naman, I don't think Gli Azzurri played well, I know they could have done so much better. But still, I feel that they did what they had to do. (Oo na, biased na kung biased.)

Someone's tweet on Twitter (Syempre, san pa kaya?):
"non mi vergogno di essere italiano\a, mica tifo italia solo perchè vince. forza azzurri per SEMPRE."

Yep, that's right! Forza Azzurri per SEMPRE!!! Viva l'Italia! :-)





It's a good thing the Lakers won the NBA finals. Or else, my yearly dose of sports would have been ruined. So, let's not even talk about Il Rossonero. Hehehe. :-P

Let's go Lakers!!!

Labels: Crazy world, Halo-Halo Special, I love Milano, Lights Camera Action, Mundong Ibabaw, Sport, Viva Italia

Sometimes, we want something so bad that we just frantically work, and do everything we can to have it. We make things difficult for ourselves. Sometimes, I think that most of us feel like we can have everything we want by working exhaustingly until we have what we want, and do not like the idea of having to thank someone for it. But you know, some times all you have to do is ask.




The next day, I woke up to this:


God is good.

Labels: I love Milano, Lights Camera Action, Mundong Ibabaw, Weder-Weather, Wishing on a falling star

On August 12, 2009, Rev, my almost 9-year-old cousin, and I decided to spend the afternoon at Fnac. While my cousin spent 2 hours at the video games section, I was a floor higher where the books are.

And this is what I found:


The whole 2 hours I was there, the guy kept on sleeping without moving a muscle.
Unbelievable.

Labels: Buhay ng may Buhay, Crazy world, I love Milano, Lights Camera Action, Silly Me, Silly You

August 07, 2009
Idroscalo di Milano

Actually, "No Swimming Allowed".

Unguy-unguyan.


"Showered" Rev.

Stupid Cupid! Hahaha.

Labels: Famiglia, Friends, I love Milano, Lights Camera Action, Silly Me, Silly You, Viva Italia, Weder-Weather

Finally, [the EB. Hehehe.] got the chance to meet Ate Racky, and her lovely, lovely family (minus 1).

They arrived on the night of July 20, and left Friday morning.








Tapos we ended the day with this:





Next time it'll be even better, 'cause by then I'll know how to get around better, and probably know more shortcuts aside from the one going straight to where I live, hehehe. Who wants to spin on the bull's balls next? =))

Labels: Crazy world, Familia sa Mundo ng Blog, I love Milano, Lights Camera Action, Viva Italia

When I left the Philippines last October, Christmas-everything was all over the country. I swear, you can almost "taste" Christmas. I even saw 2-3 houses who already had their Christmas trees all perked up.

And now people I talk to are starting to blab about Christmas na din.

For the past four (4) Christmas people never had problems finding our place because our place was the only place who had lights that went on and off to the tune of Jingle bells and We wish you a Merry Christmas. As in the whole street was dark then all of a sudden there's this little place at the second floor of an old building with all those Christmas lights going crazy, that's our place.

Last night, finally, I saw another house who already had those dancing lights. Christmas is just around the corner.

I guess I should start "dressing" our house too.
(yes, I. Help, anyone?)

Labels: Halo-Halo Special, I love Milano, Mabuhay Pilipinas, Silly Me

1. “He Killed Wailing Child”.
2. Italian football can kill...
3. ...then a thousand mourned...
4. ...later a teenager was arrested.
5. What about a man who locked up lovely "lively" wife?
6. And a guy who received a $50K check from none other than the King of Kings!
7. Oh, let's not forget about the ala "Edward Scissorhands" teacher.
   

I tell you, this global warming thing is driving people crazy.

---

Labels: Crazy world, I love Milano, Mabuhay Pilipinas, Mundong Ibabaw, Silly You, Viva Italia