Eyes don't lie. At least, those eyes I've seen never did.

Usually, I can tell when people are really in love, or at least happy in the relationship they are in. Because eyes don't lie. You see, when people are in love, there's a spark in their eyes. Their eyes glow. And even if they try to hide it, the happiness just shows.

[Just this Sunday one of my friends proved me right, again. Her eyes were smiling and glowing. There was no way to hide how happy she was. Hehehe.] :-)

And this brings me back to the point of this post.

I want to tell you, I don't see the spark in your eyes. And so far, no one does (at least, none of the people I know). And it's sad, because you've waited so long to finally be with someone, that it would be a sin to get stuck in a relationship with someone you only think you are in love with, when you could be out there with the person you are meant to be happy with.

Some times, some people just want to be with someone so bad, they stop really caring who the person they are with is. Just like how some times, some people want to fall in love so bad, they end up convincing theirselves they are in love even if they're not. They don't realize that most of the time, they are just in love with the idea of being in love, and then they miss out on all the best part and things of really being in love with your partner.

Please, don't spend your time being with someone you are not in love with, and who is not in love with you, either. Don't spend your time with someone you don't see yourself starting a family, waking up, sleeping, and spending the rest of your life with. It's not worth it, because you could, and should, be spending your time with the person you are meant to be with.

The rest of your life starts the moment you realize and feel who you are meant to be with. Start the rest of your life as soon as you can. Make it happen. Don't be trapped.

We don't think you're happy, and we want you to be. I want you to be happy.


But then again, who am I to know.

Labels: Buhay ng may Buhay, doing it the soap-opera way, I'm thinking of YOU, That's Amore

For one frivolous (for some people) reason, and for so many other reasons, all at the same time...

Some times I feel like moving here was the wrong move to make...

Tonight (wow, it's almost 3AM) is one of those times. My mind starts to wander to places, some of them dark, and I start to ask myself silly questions that are sometimes scary 'cause I can't think of an answer... I start to wish of things, people, and situation that are so out of reach... Then I start to tell (convince) myself that this, whatever this may be, is better than living the next couple of years with "What ifs".

And if given the chance to go back in time, I just might do things exactly as I did them now. But you see, there's a big difference about being sure and confident about the decisions you make, and actually living them. Because most of the time your decisions do not depend on what you solely want to happen.


Note to self: STOP stalking * online. So NOT healthy! (-_-)

Labels: doing it the soap-opera way, I love Milano, Mabuhay Pilipinas, Si Dindin

Today was weird.

I woke up 30 minutes before my clock.. Well, alarmed. I tried going back to sleep, but couldn't. So, I just stayed in bed, awake, doing nothing, except to stare blankly at the nothingness in front of me.

On my way home, inside the bus, I felt like I was running out of air to breathe. I had to get off two bus stops early. It was a good long walk, I started to feel calm.

The whole day felt so dragging... And I wanted to cry. Not the normal, demure cry I often do. I wanted to cry, the hagulgol kind of cry.

What's up with that?
I'm feeling a bit better by the way.
Off to bed now. Night-night.

Labels: doing it the soap-opera way, I love Milano, Si Dindin, Silly Me

It rained today. I swear the rain knows exactly when I need it.

Thank you, Pà! And thank you, Lord!
I feel a bit better, and so much calmer.

Labels: doing it the soap-opera way, Famiglia, I'm thinking of YOU, Si Dindin, That's Amore

I feel like I'm floating, but not the good kind. I was so distracted that this happened.



The weird thing was... I was passive about it. As in, hindi ako nagulat or anything. Parang wala lang nangyare.

Oh well.

Labels: doing it the soap-opera way, Lights Camera Action

Some days ago, after days and days of Mamma asking me, I finally decided to clean up Papà's clothes (including shoes). Yes, I know 5 years is such a long time. Anyway, after my siblings chose what they wanted to keep, and putting almost half of the clothes in plastic bags that will then be given to those who need them, I think 1/4 of Papà's clothes, together with 4 shoes and a slipper, ended in a box because I refuse to let go of them.

I felt so sad and heavy while sorting through his things. After five long years his clothes still smell like him. I was being so dragging, it took me almost 4 days to finish. I feel like energy has been drained off of me. I was on the verge of crying a couple of times, and now I feel like crying nonstop.

My heart feels so heavy. Good night, and see me in my dreams.

Labels: doing it the soap-opera way, Famiglia, Si Dindin

After some days that the Wife vs. Mistress video went viral, I think "The mistress-beater", E.R.T., finally came to a point where she regrets what she did, or at least, filming and posting what she did on the internet.

As of last night the husband's, the other woman's, and her Facebook profile have been deactivated.

Sometimes, I can't help but think na baka may balak mag-artista mga 'to! I mean, di ba, sinong nanunugod (sp?) na ready ang video camera? :-/

Labels: Buhay ng may Buhay, Crazy world, doing it the soap-opera way, Mabuhay Pilipinas

Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned. I tell you, this saying is so true.

Last night, a video of a mistress who was beaten up by the wife in a mall, started showing up on my Facebook feed. I watched the video and it was crazy. Seriously. I was scared for the girl and her friends.

I knew that sooner or later the video will either be removed, blocked, or something else, but I was sure it will disappear. And yes, I have a copy of that video saved on my computer, in case you are wondering, hehehe.




As much as I understand the wife, I totally disapprove what she did. I mean, c'mon! Why stoop down to her level? And why in public?! If I were the wife, and if I were to beat the hell out of someone, it would have been my husband. Because, with all honesty, I wouldn't care if the mistress is single, married, or whatever. I wouldn't care who the hell she is, just like she wouldn't care who the hell I am, unless of course, we personally know each other, because otherwise, we are just strangers sharing a man. (Hahaha.)

The truth is, I would never do anything like that. And definitely not in public. And I'm madamot when it comes to romantic relationships, bawal may kahati. Unless we know each other, you can do whatever the hell you want to do. Agawin mo lahat ng gusto mong agawin, and I wouldn't care. Ang pro-problemahin (aawayin? hehehe) ko eh yung nagpa-agaw. If I were in the wife's shoes, I would have acted differently. Ayaw ko ng mga agaw-eksena, at mala-telenovela na drama. If I were her, I would just throw him out of the house. No drama, no pulling of hair, and no cursing, and everything will definitely happen in private. No videos or photos to share on the internet. :-P

Oh well.

Labels: Buhay ng may Buhay, Crazy world, doing it the soap-opera way, Mabuhay Pilipinas

"It took one look and forever laid out in front of me..."***


If we stood face-to-face when we had the chance, I feel that I couldn't have stopped myself from telling you we are meant for each other. Forget the fact that it was the first time, and so far the only time. Forget the fact that we don't personally know each other. Forget the fact that you probably fancy someone else. I know what I know, and I feel what I feel. Fate has its ways. Destiny will prevail. You are mine, and I am yours. We are meant for each other.


"I take one step away but I find myself coming back to you.."***


I think about you, and me. I think about a future where there could be "Us". But then I realize, maybe there will never a be a future when I can finally say "Us" instead of "You" and "Me". Maybe that's how things are supposed to be — "Me", "You", and no "Us". Maybe it is better that way.

I convinced myself.

I started to feel relieved, then sadness sinked in.

Then I felt you. I don't know how, but I felt you. I know it's you, because some things you just know. My heart starts to beat stronger, skipping a beat. I am high. I am in ecstacy. I am yours.


"Now I know that I know not a thing at all, except the fact that I am yours.."***


Yes, I am yours. And before we know it, you will be mine. You don't question Destiny, you have to have faith in Fate. So many things I know nothing, and uncertain about. But one has to believe, and I am a believer. You are mine, and I am yours. No questions asked, no reasons needed. We live for the future, and the future is "Us".


We are meant to be.

Labels: doing it the soap-opera way, I'm thinking of YOU, Parokya Ni Edgar, Sing-A-Long, That's Amore, Wishing on a falling star

Before reading Paulo Coelho's "By The River Piedra I Sat Down And Wept", I don't think I have ever heard, seen, or read anyone talked so passionately about a kiss. My heart melts.

Labels: Book Porn, doing it the soap-opera way, Lights Camera Action, That's Amore

Only few people believe that someone could actually die of a broken heart, and I'm one of those few people. Most people say I'm just being too sentimental.. Well... My friend's dog, who she left in Peru last year, just died. According to the vet. the dog died of a broken heart.. So sad. :-(

I'm now worried for my Andi. When I talked to Andi's vet. about leaving her behind when I travel so that I could spare her the trauma of long, exhausting flights, the vet. told me that my dog would definitely prefer the long exhausting flight than to be left behind and not spend time with me for a long time. And now this. I don't want her to get sick because she's going to be too sad when I leave without her. :-(

Labels: Andi, Dog's Life, doing it the soap-opera way

It's hard when people's decision ends up messing your plans, and inevitably leave you from having too many options, to no option at all. It's hard when you're always second to someone else on everyone's "priority list". It's hard when the voice of the mind starts to sound louder than that of the heart, and it's harder when you have to just play deaf to your heart's desire because you have no other choice but let your head speak.

Happiness is a state of mind, I know this won't make me happy now, but I'll eventually learn how to be, or at least, continue faking it... I've been trying to fake it for the last 8-9 years in vain, but as they say, practice makes perfect.

Labels: doing it the soap-opera way, Si Dindin

Sometimes, having too many options to choose from is just as hard as not having any.

Everyone is telling me to think about my future, but when will I get the chance to start thinking about my present? I want to live in the moment. I've never done that before.

Labels: doing it the soap-opera way, Famiglia, Si Dindin

One of my brothers, who lives in the US with his family, came here for Kuya Saldy's funeral. It has been 10 years since they last saw each other. Everyone knows that Papà wanted me to move and live in the US, he says I'll have a better future and more opportunities in the land of milk and honey. I was planned to move to the US in 2006, but Papà died a year before so the plan did not push through. Last year, around Christmas season (after more than a year of thinking), I decided to come back here, work (seriously) for at least a year to save some, apply to have a Filipino citizenship, and move back to Pilipinas.

The whole time Kuya was here, he's been convncing me to move to the US instead, and stay with him and his family, until I can live on my own. And I kept on convincing him that I'll be fine and hopefully will make it in the Philippines, and if all things fail, I can always go back here to Italia. The thing is... He succeeded and convinced my siblings, and some of my relatives that moving to the US is the better choice.

Pilipinas, mauudlot ka na naman ba?

---

P.S.
I would like to thank everyone for the prayers, the thought, the messages, and for "being with us" in this time of grief. We really appreciate it very much. We would like to let you know that the family and I are feeling much better now.

Labels: doing it the soap-opera way, Famiglia, Friends, Mabuhay Pilipinas, Pouting, Si Dindin, The US of A

I wonder why I am always asked to take care of people around me.

When Lolo died, I was 18 (give or take), everyone around us told me to watch over Mamma; then when Papà died, again everyone told me to watch over Mamma and my siblings; only days ago when one of my Kuyas (brothers) passed away, again and again, everyone told me to care for my siblings. It's not that i'm complaining, okei maybe I am, but what makes them think that I don't need at least one person to take care of me? Don't I deserve that?

Labels: doing it the soap-opera way, Famiglia, Si Dindin

There's something about Christmas season, and February that make most people feel the blues. Promise, the number of people who commit suicide or murder suddenly rise. It's crazy. Don't worry, I'm not saying that I feel like commiting suicide or killing someone, I just feel sad. I have no idea why, but I feel sad... And heavy. Usually, after these, I'll have problems sleeping na, then I'll suddenly wake up in the middle of the night.. It's very tiring. And it's more tiring when you don't actually do anything but still get tired.

I feel sad and heavy, and I have to drag myself out of bed every morning, and I'm having trouble getting myself to sleep. Okei, I've always been a night person, I usually sleep at 2 in the morning... But last night, I woke up in the middle of the night because I dreamt of someone who's supposed to be dead, and someone I have never met. This is actually the second time I dreamt of him, and his family, the first time was last year. Both times, I'd wake up and could not remember what the dream was about. It's weird. And I have no idea why I dream of him, or his parents. Please, let me sleep na kasi I feel really tired na, I end up being more moody than how I already am. Thankyouverymuch.

Labels: doing it the soap-opera way, Si Dindin, Silly Me

Years ago, one of my friends from school told us about her theory on boys, rings, and babies.

She said:
"There are two ways to keep a man — 1. Is to let him give you THE ring; and 2. Is when you're expecting your baby. But if you want a guy to stay away from you, there are also two easy ways to keep them away — 1. Is to show them you're wearing a ring on your ring finger; and 2. Is to show them you're a mother. Both usually scares them away, so it works perfectly".

I'm mabenta to in-laws. Parents-in-law, Uncles/Aunts-in-law, Grandparents-in-law, you name it. One of my Mum's friends, when she found out we were going to the PI for a vacation, called her sister and asked her to go to our house with her son so we could meet. Buti na lang, I was out having dinner with friends when they arrived. Mamma knew better and did not call to ask me to go back home.

I also don't like men who are mahangin, who think they are God's gift to women. And those who think that every girl "in the room" would do anything to have them.

Going back to the ring theory... Some three years ago, Mamma's friend was selling jewelries, Mamma told me to choose at least one item, kasi nakakahiya naman daw. I saw a ring that looked like an engagement ring, nothing fancy, it was a gold plated ring with a Zircon on top of it. It costs no more than 15€. I saw the opportunity and took it. I decided to buy the ring because there's this guy who keeps on bugging me, and also because I wanted to stop being mabenta to in-laws, kahit sandali lang. I had decisions to make, and could not get myself involved with a guy, I didn't even know which continent I was going to stay. So, go figure. Wearing the ring seemed like a good idea. And it was. The ring worked, except when some (buti na lang very few) of them would go to me, and ask if I already have a boyfriend. You see, I'm not good at lying. People usually get it, so I get caught easily when I'm lying. Plus, I can't tell them naman na I have a boyfriend, because I won't have a name to tell them din. So...

My Lola, Titos, Titas, cousins, and friends are now waiting for me to have a boyfriend, settle down, start a family, and all that stuff. They say it's time because I'm not getting any younger na daw.. Kamusta naman yun? Last month, Mamma and I finally took the decision of what I should do next with my life. Well, more like I took the decision, and she agreed. A couple of weeks later, I lost the ring. Over dinner, I told my ring-theory maker friend about the ring, and she said that maybe it's a sign. That maybe now that I've decided what to do next (at least the next 5-6 years) of my life, maybe Someone up there is telling me that it's okei to finally feel free and get involve with someone, if I feel like I'm ready, and found the guy I want to get involve with.

Could the missing ring be really a sign?
Weeeehhhh.. -_-"

Night-night lovely people. : )

Labels: doing it the soap-opera way, Famiglia, Friends, Mabuhay Pilipinas, Si Dindin, That's Amore, Viva Italia

After the Ondoy disaster, I am more proud to be a Filipino.

I saw how Filipinos around the world moved fast (and still are), and did whatever they can to help fellow Filipinos who were (are) in need.

Another proof of how kind, warm, and big hearted Filipinos are.

I've heard of people singing "Happy Birthday" to a man they were saving when they found out it was his birthday. I've seen pictures, videos of people donating their gift of smile to people who need it. The positive vibe, the will to move on and look forward, the bayanihan, and the great love for life never cease to warm my heart.

Seeing all of these makes me feel like it's Christmas already.
And I love the feeling. ♥ ♥ ♥

Labels: doing it the soap-opera way, Mabuhay Pilipinas, Mundong Ibabaw, Silly Me, That's Amore

Funny how some people can deeply touch your life and easily enter your heart, how their smile and simple words can brighten your day, how the thought of being together makes your heart skip a beat, or how the mere thought of them makes your heart beat faster...

Funny how life seems more beautiful knowing that they're part of your life, and how you wish you're part of theirs too... If it wasn't so tragic that they don't have a clue of how they make you feel, it would be funny...

Labels: doing it the soap-opera way, I'm thinking of YOU, Si Dindin