The truth is, the biggest part of me cannot wait until it's summer and I can go back home.

This country, this city, the people in this city, the people I am forced to spend almost every day with, are bringing out the worst part of me, and I am not liking it. I am not liking what I am turning into.

I used to be one of the most positive person, thoughtful, idealistic, fair, productive, patient, and then this country and its people happened. I've always had this façade of being the most pessimistic person in a room, but people close to me knew I am the most idealistic person there is. Probably one of the major reasons why I always try my best to find the goodness in everyone, and probably also one of the major reasons why I am always "used and abused", as Asmae would say. I do not want to be a cynic, and I'm afraid that slowly I am turning to be exactly that kind of person.

Inside I am crying for the version of me that is slowly fading, being drowned by this newer, meaner, version I am becoming.

Maybe I'm overreacting, or maybe I am not.

Labels: I love Milano, Mabuhay Pilipinas, Pouting, Si Dindin, Silly Me, Viva Italia

For one frivolous (for some people) reason, and for so many other reasons, all at the same time...

Some times I feel like moving here was the wrong move to make...

Tonight (wow, it's almost 3AM) is one of those times. My mind starts to wander to places, some of them dark, and I start to ask myself silly questions that are sometimes scary 'cause I can't think of an answer... I start to wish of things, people, and situation that are so out of reach... Then I start to tell (convince) myself that this, whatever this may be, is better than living the next couple of years with "What ifs".

And if given the chance to go back in time, I just might do things exactly as I did them now. But you see, there's a big difference about being sure and confident about the decisions you make, and actually living them. Because most of the time your decisions do not depend on what you solely want to happen.


Note to self: STOP stalking * online. So NOT healthy! (-_-)

Labels: doing it the soap-opera way, I love Milano, Mabuhay Pilipinas, Si Dindin

The last couple of months have been unbelievable.
I finally decided to move out. I moved not just to a different city, but a different country. It's not a strange country 'cause I did stay here for, more or less, 10 years, so it's not as difficult as one may think. And it's not like I'm totally living on my own, since (most probably) more than half of what I'm spending comes from my financier, the Mother Goose. :-P But you get the idea. So far, so good. And I am proud to announce that both Andi and I are still alive. Hehehe.

_______________

I'm putting the Project 365 on hold, because the last few months of transition didn't give me enough time to take a picture every single day. Just so you know, I plan to restart on my 27th birthday. [When I feel like I'll feel (paulit-ulit? Hehehe.] so grown up! Hahaha.)

I missed blogging, I miss my MAC, I missed Twitter, I miss my Canon, I miss fast internet and painless router... I miss Milano [and everyone (and everthing) in it], and I miss you (you probably don't care, but, yes, I do miss you.) - so near, yet so far lang ang drama. Hahaha.

I have at least a year to see how things will turn out 'till I have to make another decision. I'm keeping my fingers crossed.

Wish me luck. Keep me in your heart. And pray for me.

Labels: Andi, Famiglia, I love Milano, I'm thinking of YOU, Mabuhay Pilipinas, Project 365, Si Dindin

The best news that I received today is that 2 of my friends are finally, yes, finally, officially engaged. Yay! Happiness!

—————

Me: Hey, remember my friends L and J?
Friend: Uh-huh.
Me: They're officially engaged... FINALLY! He proposed na daw last January 5!
Friend: Oh.. So ikaw na lang ang single sa inyo?


Aaaawwwwtttttsssss.... -_-

Labels: Buhay ng may Buhay, Friends, Halo-Halo Special, Mabuhay Pilipinas, Silly Me, That's Amore

Last year, while on vacation in the Philippines. Me and 4 (3 guys, 1 girl) other friends were drinking beer, talking about how (and why) men cheat on their partners, after having dinner, at our place.

Me: Nagwo-worry na sila (my family) na wala pa akong boyfriend.
GuyFriend: Tumigil ka dito (sa Pilipinas), wala pang isang taon may bofriend ka sigurado, kung gusto nila pede din na magka-baby ka na. Malilibog mga tao dito eh.

Other girl friend and I already laughing out loud.

GuyFriend: Hindi nga, totoo. Kami nga nagpro-proteksyon lang kasi ayaw ko pa magpa-kasal at magka-baby eh.

Male Cousin/Friend: Tang*nang 'to! (to Guy Friend)

Most times, I feel like my guy friends forget I'm actually a(n) (innocent) girl.

Labels: Crazy world, Famiglia, Friends, Mabuhay Pilipinas, Silly Me, Silly You

After some days that the Wife vs. Mistress video went viral, I think "The mistress-beater", E.R.T., finally came to a point where she regrets what she did, or at least, filming and posting what she did on the internet.

As of last night the husband's, the other woman's, and her Facebook profile have been deactivated.

Sometimes, I can't help but think na baka may balak mag-artista mga 'to! I mean, di ba, sinong nanunugod (sp?) na ready ang video camera? :-/

Labels: Buhay ng may Buhay, Crazy world, doing it the soap-opera way, Mabuhay Pilipinas

Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned. I tell you, this saying is so true.

Last night, a video of a mistress who was beaten up by the wife in a mall, started showing up on my Facebook feed. I watched the video and it was crazy. Seriously. I was scared for the girl and her friends.

I knew that sooner or later the video will either be removed, blocked, or something else, but I was sure it will disappear. And yes, I have a copy of that video saved on my computer, in case you are wondering, hehehe.




As much as I understand the wife, I totally disapprove what she did. I mean, c'mon! Why stoop down to her level? And why in public?! If I were the wife, and if I were to beat the hell out of someone, it would have been my husband. Because, with all honesty, I wouldn't care if the mistress is single, married, or whatever. I wouldn't care who the hell she is, just like she wouldn't care who the hell I am, unless of course, we personally know each other, because otherwise, we are just strangers sharing a man. (Hahaha.)

The truth is, I would never do anything like that. And definitely not in public. And I'm madamot when it comes to romantic relationships, bawal may kahati. Unless we know each other, you can do whatever the hell you want to do. Agawin mo lahat ng gusto mong agawin, and I wouldn't care. Ang pro-problemahin (aawayin? hehehe) ko eh yung nagpa-agaw. If I were in the wife's shoes, I would have acted differently. Ayaw ko ng mga agaw-eksena, at mala-telenovela na drama. If I were her, I would just throw him out of the house. No drama, no pulling of hair, and no cursing, and everything will definitely happen in private. No videos or photos to share on the internet. :-P

Oh well.

Labels: Buhay ng may Buhay, Crazy world, doing it the soap-opera way, Mabuhay Pilipinas

Months ago I made a decision. Something that will affect where, with whom, and how I would live the next few years. I'm not really a risk taker. Most times, I only risk when I already have a fallback plan ready. This time I actually have 2. You know, just in case my first fallback plan fails.

I'm the type of person who, when my bottle of shampoo, conditioner, body wash, face cream, or tube of toothpaste, or our box of orange juice or milk, are only 1/4 full, I start buying a new one. I don't think I've reached a point of hoarding naman, I just want to make sure I don't run out of something I need. That's being rational, right?

A friend told me I'm not helping myself with all these fallback plans, and playing safe, and I'm jinxing my own self, and all that... But... Is it really so wrong to play safe?

Labels: Eskwela, Friends, I love Milano, Mabuhay Pilipinas, Si Dindin, The US of A

I honestly don't get all this hype about this Anti-Pinoy.com website. The moment I saw "Anti-Pinoy" on my screen, I cringed. The first thing that came to mind was that it was a website made by Hongkonger(s) against Filipinos for that hostage-taking crisis that happened, then when I found out that it was a Pinoy website, written by Pinoys, two words came to mind — Crab Mentality.


On their website (About section) it says:

"Does your coach yell at you and tell you what you’re doing wrong in practice? Why does he do that? Is it because he hates you and wants nothing to do with you? You think so? Then why are you still on the team, and starting every game? Sometimes the harshest criticisms, those words that hurt the most, are what in the end lead you to achieve your best.

In a very real way, this is what we’re about. We’re not here to put Pinoys down for the heck of it, after all, we are Pinoys too…it is an altogether uncomfortable realization that the land we call home is a dysfunctional mess, but it is hard not to see the painful truth. We love our country, we want the Philippines and all Filipinos to improve, and for this country and society to live up to its potential. But before that can happen, we need to know what’s wrong about us so that we can fix ourselves and point ourselves in the right direction."

I don't know about you, but if my coach starts calling him/herself Anti-Dindin, I don't think I'll still want him/her to be my coach. Seriously. I can accept all the criticisms you have to give me, even the harshest but there are nicer ways to say it, definitely not in front of the whole world. Or in this case nicer way to call a website, definitely not ANTI-Pinoy. This Anti-Pinoy thing just sounds so rude.

Truth be said, I haven't read anything on the site except the "About" section, and who knows maybe I'd even fall in love with the site if I start browsing through it, but not now. It's just that the Anti thing kinda throws me off. Hindi ba pedeng Pro-Pinoy.com? Or PagbabagoSaPilipinas.com? O kaya BagongPinoy.com? I know, I'm baduy like that. :-P

I don't like anything Anti. Period.

"I was once asked why I don't participate in anti-war demonstrations. I said that I will never do that, but as soon as you have a pro-peace rally, I'll be there."

— Mother Teresa

Labels: Mabuhay Pilipinas, Mundong Ibabaw

Today is the day.

I woke up, brushed my teeth, ate breakfast, groomed Andi, took a shower, skipped lunch, brushed my teeth (again), got dressed, and prepared all the papers I'll be needing for my 14.30 appointment at the C. office.

I leave behind the door that slammed too loud for my taste. Waited for the bus, then the metro, then the bus again. As I set foot on that 2nd bus I had to take, I said to myself, "It's now, or never." It's either they grant me what I've been requesting since last May, or I'll just forget about it. I've lived my life without it before, I can surely continue living without it.

The Universe conspired. The people at the C. were, surprisingly and weirdly, nice, and smiling. I had to wait a little too long, as in an hour and a half long, but i got what I came for. My request was finally granted.


I WANT YOU ALL TO CONGRATULATE ME! Gow!
(And for now, let's not worry about the fact that I have to go back to the C. to apply for an E-passport.)



And there's more... I came home to this:


Yay! I've been waiting for this letter, because I love hand-written letters! I love letters I can actually hold in my hands. Hand-written letters are like letters with personality. :-)


Kumi, thank you very much for the hand-written ala Twitter letter! Hehehe. The first thing that came to my mind when I saw the paper was GG! Hahaha. When Mamma saw the envelope she was surprised to see that you used pink ink! I thought it was normal, after all, you're the girl who chase beautiful things. Me? I already had the pleasure of using red, gold, and even silver (but I won't recommend silver, mahirap sya basahin, at napagalitan ako ng ale sa post office), aside from black, of course. Hahaha.

Have a good, good night everyone! :-)

Labels: Andi, Friends, I love Milano, Lights Camera Action, Mabuhay Pilipinas, Si Dindin

So, after (the-much-awaited-and-equally-dreaded) July 15th appointment, I decided not to go online because I felt so frustrated. On the 20th, once again, I'm going back to their office to try my luck (once again) and (once again) see if this time my request will be granted. I'm still a bit irritated. Like what I told Xara, when she texted me to check what happened with people at the C, I didn't want to go online just to rant— Badtrip pa ako! I don't want to spread the negative vibes.

You see, I actually don't mind going back every-single-time they arrange an appointment, and find out that none of them were there because something suddenly came up; an emergency meeting, an emergency trip to Rome, they couldn't find my application form because the one who filed it was sick, or simply everyone got sick. I mean seriously. The thing that (almost) made me mad, was how annoyed they were when they found out my application was filed last May 5th, and was still in-process as if it was my fault.. Hello?! It's not my fault that every time THEY gave me an appointment something would "suddenly" come up, and they won't even pick the phone to inform me about it.

Three days after my most-recent-appointment with the C, I'm still pissed. So, this afternoon I decided to go to a bookstore. Bookstores make me feel calm, they make me happy, they make me feel at home. I like how people tend to respect everyone at bookstores, regardless of race, gender, and age. I love how everyone respect the unwritten rule of silence.

Summer sales are ongoing here. I was surrounded with books from all over that had GIGANTIC AND COLORFUL STICKERS that read "3 x 2: Compri 3 libri, ne paghi solo 2!" (You can choose 3 books and only pay 2 of them!), "-25%", and "-30%" on them. There was no way I could say no, and turn my back on those books. Absolutely. No. Way.


With 5 books in my colorful eco-bag, I headed home, feeling better, with more positive vibes to share with everyone.


Though this probably means I can't buy anymore books until Chirstmas, or maybe September, since it'll be my birthday, hehehe.

Let's keep the good vibes flowing. :-)

Labels: Book Porn, I love Milano, Lights Camera Action, Mabuhay Pilipinas, Si Dindin

SOUTH BORDER is USHER's front act, together with Kris Lawrence, Nina, and former lead vocalist Vince Alaras. Paolo Bañaga of K24/7 and Jay Durias' brother Dylan Durias are doing back-up vox.


July 9, 2010; Friday at 8PM
MOA Concert Grounds
Bay City, Pasay City
Philippines

Don't miss it! =)


P.S.
Happy Birthday, to the Knight of RnB, Mr. Duncan Ramos!

Labels: Duncan Ramos, Dylan Durias, K24/7, Kris Lawrence, Mabuhay Pilipinas, Nina, Paolo Bañaga, Usher, Vince Alaras

My brother-in-law's 94-year-old mother passed away last night.

My brother-in-law is flying to the Philippine's tomorrow morning, and will be back here on Tuesday.

Please pray for his Mum, his whole family, and a safe trip for everyone.
Thank you.

Labels: Famiglia, Mabuhay Pilipinas

May 2, 2010
San Damiano (Piacenza)

I still get excited whenever I see the Philippine flag anywhere. Haha!

Labels: Halo-Halo Special, Lights Camera Action, Mabuhay Pilipinas, Viva Italia

Thanks to my sister-in-law, I had these for merienda. :-)

Labels: Famiglia, Lights Camera Action, Mabuhay Pilipinas

Since I am feeling frustrated with my Filipino citizenship, or lack of it, and because I am starting to really dislike (because hate is such a strong word, hahaha) everyone at the Consulate. I'll just look at Dexter's pictures. Dexter was my nephews cat, who passed away last May 5, 2010. I know, it'll probably just make me more depressed, but you know... Dexter's such a sweetheart!


Created with Admarket's flickrSLiDR.

Labels: Dexter, Famiglia, Lights Camera Action, Mabuhay Pilipinas

Most times I have a weird sense of humour that only a few people (mostly those who are close to me, or those who like me have a weird sense of humour) get and understand. There are times when I can find humour in the most normal, unhumorous things.

I don't like talking to people who do not have a sense of humour. Life would be too boring and too dragging, if you take everything too seriously and cannot laugh at yourself, every once in a while. I stopped following people on Twitter, unfriend some people on Facebook, and stopped reading some blogs, because I don't get their sense of humour, or lack of it. I'm not saying I have the best and greatest sense of humour in the whole wide world, but you know, last time I checked this is a free world. :-)

Twitter is one of my sources for funny things. A lot of people there are just plain hilarious. Smartmatic PCOS machine (@PCOSmachine) has a Twitter account, it's hilarious! Hahaha! You should follow it (I'm not following it, it tweets too much, but I do visit its page to read its tweet). And I got this one off Twitter too. If you are too sensitive, and do not understand humour, leave now.

Cheers Pilipinas, the new Springfield!


[Image via http://twitpic.com/1mvd2w]

Labels: Crazy world, Mabuhay Pilipinas, Silly Me, Silly You

Premise: I don't think that people who'll go Yellow on the 10th don't think. (No pun intended.)

As much as I respect everyone's opinion, and though I still don't have the right nor the privilege to vote (Who else thinks that me being 25 and still haven't got the chance/right to vote once is just plain ridiculous?! Shucks, ano ba?!!), may I ask everyone to please don't let Noynoy Aquino be the next president of our beloved Philippines. Seriously.

Vote wisely!

Vote for the person who you believe in. Don't waste your vote, as long as you vote for the person who you really think deserves to lead the country, win or lose, your vote won't be wasted. There are people, like me, who terribly wish we can vote but can't.

I am deeply saddened by how some people think that their vote (or not voting) could not affect the results of the election. It's not just ONE vote, it's so much more than that.

Last Sunday we went to Piacenza with a whole bunch of other Pinoys, as in a whole bus of Pinoys, I asked them if they're voting, almost 75-80% of them said "no", I asked them why, and they said "Hindi naman ako naka-rehistro eh" (Not a registered voter). Shit! Ano ba?! If they weren't all older than I am, I would have said, "'Bat di ka nagpa-rehistro?!" Why do most OFWs think this election won't affect them just because they live abroad? And why is the Consulate being such a pain, on almost everything that has to be done in their office?!

Go out and vote!

There are 2 ways to waste your vote: (1) is to not vote; and (2) is voting for someone just because surveys say he'll win. The moment you vote for that person is the exact same moment you'll waste your vote. Please vote wisely, don't use too much of your heart in deciding who should be the next president of our country.

Thank you.

Please read also:
Chuvaness.com - Forget the surveys - http://chuvaness.livejournal.com/867006.html

P.S.
If you're asking who I would vote for.. Well, if I had the right, and the privilege I'd probably vote for either Richard Gordon, Manny Villar, or Gibo Teodoro, in that order.

Labels: Buhay ng may Buhay, Halo-Halo Special, Mabuhay Pilipinas, Politica, Si Dindin

One of my brothers, who lives in the US with his family, came here for Kuya Saldy's funeral. It has been 10 years since they last saw each other. Everyone knows that Papà wanted me to move and live in the US, he says I'll have a better future and more opportunities in the land of milk and honey. I was planned to move to the US in 2006, but Papà died a year before so the plan did not push through. Last year, around Christmas season (after more than a year of thinking), I decided to come back here, work (seriously) for at least a year to save some, apply to have a Filipino citizenship, and move back to Pilipinas.

The whole time Kuya was here, he's been convncing me to move to the US instead, and stay with him and his family, until I can live on my own. And I kept on convincing him that I'll be fine and hopefully will make it in the Philippines, and if all things fail, I can always go back here to Italia. The thing is... He succeeded and convinced my siblings, and some of my relatives that moving to the US is the better choice.

Pilipinas, mauudlot ka na naman ba?

---

P.S.
I would like to thank everyone for the prayers, the thought, the messages, and for "being with us" in this time of grief. We really appreciate it very much. We would like to let you know that the family and I are feeling much better now.

Labels: doing it the soap-opera way, Famiglia, Friends, Mabuhay Pilipinas, Pouting, Si Dindin, The US of A