I find it to hard to sleep when it's too quiet. The paranoia gets in. Or at least, I think it's paranoia. I start to think about things that I'd rather not think about at four (4) in the morning. I can hear my own thoughts and it's pulling me down.

I like silence. And I like to think, it keeps me motivated and it gives me direction. Thinking stimulates me. I like to wonder and I kinda like the idea of hearing my own thoughts.

What I don't like is silence at night and thinking at night, it's keeping me awake. Thinking for me is what coffee is to most people.

---

on other things:
Maraming salamat po Ate Rho. :)

Labels: Familia sa Mundo ng Blog, Si Dindin

When I left the Philippines last October, Christmas-everything was all over the country. I swear, you can almost "taste" Christmas. I even saw 2-3 houses who already had their Christmas trees all perked up.

And now people I talk to are starting to blab about Christmas na din.

For the past four (4) Christmas people never had problems finding our place because our place was the only place who had lights that went on and off to the tune of Jingle bells and We wish you a Merry Christmas. As in the whole street was dark then all of a sudden there's this little place at the second floor of an old building with all those Christmas lights going crazy, that's our place.

Last night, finally, I saw another house who already had those dancing lights. Christmas is just around the corner.

I guess I should start "dressing" our house too.
(yes, I. Help, anyone?)

Labels: Halo-Halo Special, I love Milano, Mabuhay Pilipinas, Silly Me

Everyone (and I mean everyone who knows and is friends with Allen),

Our classmate/batchmate and friend Allen Quisido is to tie the knot with her boyfriend Gil Francis Urriza on Jan. 05, 2008 (Sat.); 3 o'clock in the afternoon at Del Remedio Parish Church, San Pablo City, Laguna.

The pleasure of your company is requested.


I wish I can be there. Sigh.

Labels: Buhay ng may Buhay, Friends, Halo-Halo Special

Here's the frivolous post I was talking about.

I believe boredom triggers creativity. After all this creativity I found about last year, here's a new creation, The Toy. Something for those who love to send SMS and ladies who love to receive them! X-box, PS (I myself enjoy playing this), Nintendo Wii (I will have this, soon!), sports car and guns are considered (expensive) toys for big boys, now, here's a not so expensive, only £140.00, toy for big girls! This is "the" toy of the moment... You play it with a partner and it's supposed to be fun (since I have no idea) and it comes in different colours! Let's just hope it won't make as much noise as those big boys' toys do. Haha! ;-p

Connected to a mobile phone with Bluetooth it becomes an intimate, silent connection between two lovers, regardless of distance. Custom designed for your pleasure, it is intelligent, sophisticated and invented for bliss. The Toy is worn internally, linked to a mobile phone and controlled by sms text messages sent to the phone. Once read, the message is transported automatically to The Toy, which turns it into vibrations - with a huge range of movements, depending on what you have written. Just say what you feel, The Toy will do the rest.

Source: The Register.

I think people are bored. Deadpan bored.


For more info visit The Toy Website.

Labels: Crazy world, Donne, Silly Me

I have a long test tomorrow and I should be studying but blogging relaxes me and I'm taking a break from all the studying.. I already have something in my blog but decided to publish it on a later time. That post seems too frivolous.

Anyway, my friend's boyfriend sent me an SMS at 2:04 in the morning, they lost the baby. (for the record, they've decided to go to a new doctor for a 3rd opinion, on what, I have yet to find out.)

She and I have been friends since early '99, almost a decade eight (8) years of friendship. It feels like a sister lost her baby, my niece or nephew. There's the tinest part of me thinking that it's probably better that way, I don't think they're ready for it and everything else a baby comes with but then again who am I to say such?

A friend told me that living here has tripled my rationalism and practicality which, according to her, is not really "okei" since I was already too rational and too practical (for her taste) at a young age. Imagine a 17/18-year-old girl asked to choose between (a) staying with her friends, relatives she grew up with, the country where she lived more than half of her life and the guy she's supposedly in love with and (b) living abroad, who then left "everything" and "everyone" behind to live abroad because she used her "head" and not her "heart", now imagine that same girl who uses her "head" three times more than she did when she was younger, that's who I've become.

I know how she wanted to have a baby but I also remember her telling me that they're not ready for it, it's not the right time. And I could not agree more.

Am I turning into a bad person? Sometimes I feel like I am. Like I'm becoming someone who uses her head alone, someone with no heart. But then again, I feel for her, when I read the SMS I felt like crying and so I did. Maybe that means I still have a heart, after all. But I must admitt, at times, I'm scared that I might lose my heart and end up not feeling anything at all. Now, that would be sad. A really sad life to live.

Minsan, I can't help but think na maybe I'm like this because people have always thought of me as someone who's strong and I'm that person to whom everyone turned to for strength and I felt (and still feel?) that I had to play the part. And playing that part for the longest time, the role eventually became the me that I am today.

I know I'm exaggerately complicated and that most times, I'm a living contradiction but I know for sure that my friends love me for who I am and will still love me no matter who I become and that boys and girls, keeps my heart alive. :) They know how much I treasure and love each and every one of them. They're not friends anymore, they're my siblings, they're part of the family. In this case, blood is definitely not thicker than water.

Aaaaaannnyyywwwaaayy, I'll try to call my friend tomorrow and see how things are. I hope everything's okei better. I hope she's feeling better.

It's sad. It's just too sad. Sigh.

Labels: Buhay ng may Buhay, doing it the soap-opera way, Friends, Si Dindin

I had a nice talk with a school friend kanina and I have come to this conclusion,

There are three (3) four (4) types of men:

• Likable and taken
• Likable and gay
• Single and unlikable
• Taken and unlikable
  

Hahaha.

edited (on Nov. 11, 2007) due to "violent" reactions, haha!

Labels: Silly Me

Din! Miss you na! Miss ko na kakulitan mo! Life's so boring, empty and so QUIET without you! Wala ng taga-plano ng gimik at taga-hila ng mga sasama! Balik ka na ulit dito! Bored na kami! Sagot ko na ang kape! Hehehe.

x

I was browsing my friends list at friendster when I read one of my HS friend's shout out (mga pa-uso ng friendster! hehehe.) and it reads:

And I totally agree. :)

Labels: Friends, Si Dindin

Hi Din! Musta? Nasend na pala sayo ni x*x yung mga pictures namin.. Balita ko uwi ka daw ng August ah... Txt mo ako pag-uwi ka... Nakwento nga pala sa akin ni *x* yung nagkita kayo, bat ayaw mong sumama sa kanya? hehehe. Buti naman nagkita kayo agad ng kapatid ko.. :) Anyway, tungkol sa amin, ok naman kame ngayon, we're happy, sobrang happy.. As in.. Bumalik na ulit yung dati.. Feeling ko nga mas nadagdagan pa e..
[...]
Ok na ok kame sa parents ko. Nagulat nga ako kasi sabi ng mom ko, ok na daw si x*x, payag na daw sya kay x*x at mukha daw na sya na nga ang makakatuluyan ko.. Hopefully... Basta ngayon pa lang sinasabi ko na sayo ha, maid of honor ka! Ikaw kasi ang salarin kung bat kame nagkita ulit, nagkatxt at naging ok ulit kame... Di pa pala ako nakakapag-thank you sayo.. Thank you ha... Siguro kung hindi dahil sayo hindi kame magiging ok ulit ni x*x.. Hindi ako magiging sobrang happy ngayon kung hindi dahil sayo... :)
[...]
Dami kong kwento noh? Hehe. Basta keep in touch ha, balitaan ka na lang namin. :) Ingat ka palagi dyan! God Bless! mwah! miss na kita! ;) uwi ka agad ha.... hehehe.

x

Aaawwwww.. It feels good when people you honestly and truly care for are happy and it feels so much better when you're a big part (reason) of why that happiness exists. :)

Life's good. It's über complicated but it's good. You'll have ups and downs, it will sometimes suck.. but it is good... especially when you have friends like mine..

...life's definitely sweeter.

Labels: Buhay ng may Buhay, Friends, Si Dindin, That's Amore

Din,
I've got something to tell you.. I had a check up yesterday and the doctor said that I'm two (2) months pregnant, I really don't know what to do and how am I going to tell it to my parents, I need some comfort, it's really unexpected... And I'm scared already... Please don't let anybody know, I miss you!

x

That's the message I received this morning. My first reaction was "What?!" then "How come she's more worried on how to tell her parents that she's pregnant than how she's going to raise her child?", but of course, I did not tell her that. Honestly, I haven't told her anything yet. I don't know how to react eh, I'm not THAT surprised naman kasi, I mean, I knew they were having complete intercourse without protection (and no birth control pills thou, more than once, I did tell her to have her OB prescribe her something, so she can take them. Just to be on the safe side.) and that they weren't really that careful. It was (and never will be) an issue for me since, as most of you already know, I am pro-premarital sex and it was none of my business anyway.

Surely it was unplanned but, come on, what were they expecting? It was only a matter of time.

This may sound very, very "evil" but one more question is worrying me... Well, I thought she was not so sure if she wanted to stay with this guy anymore?

And yes, another hour has passed since I read that message, so it's been... uuummm, four (4) hours already... and I still don't know what to tell her.. I mean, what is one supposed to say? to do? This should be easy for me, by now, I should know how to react and what to say, since she's not my first friend to have an unplanned pregancy or who got his partner pregnant unexpectedly and it's probable that she won't be the last either... but I'll never get used to this kind of news. And I still don't know what to say, do and how to react.

Labels: Buhay ng may Buhay, doing it the soap-opera way, Friends, Si Dindin

I've been back for almost half a month now. And I'm still trying to go back to my old routine, finding my old rhythm. Doing my web-surfing.

Well, I found this:

I really thought it'll be the 7 of them 'till the end na. They were finally making it in the US, they signed a record deal, a new album on the way. I was on vacation and supposedly having fun but when I found out that Duncan Ramos and Vince Alaras decided to leave South Border to pursue solo careers, I was in total shock and sad. Probably too sad, for someone who never really had the chance to meet them in person, that the people I was with felt they had to ask me what was wrong. I probably was staring blankly (and hard) at the screen. Just like most of the news about SB kasi, I found about it through an email. Since I didn't have 24/7 access to the internet I used my palm to read emails, and thinking about it now, I probably looked stupid staring at that small screen on our way back home. It was a night out with friends. So after a while I had my thoughts on other things.

T'was sad, actually it still is. I wanted to cry but I never liked the attention and I didn't want to have to explain what I thought they may think was childish and mababaw. I was trying not to be called exaggerated and maarte.

Somewhat the thought of it still saddens me and still could bring tears to the eyes. I guess it didn't hit me right there and then. And now it does. Slowly. As I change lay-outs, images for links and receive emails regarding changes on the site, details of shows, email that reads "featuring Duncan Ramos" or "with Vince Alaras". And with that, I still can't bring myself to change some of the pictures I have on my sites regarding SB. I can only imagine how people who've had the chance to really know them feel, people who spent time and moments with them, people who worked with them and fans, who all became friends. I can only imagine how them 7 feel. You might think I'm overreacting now and I probably am. But who cares? This is MY blog. :)

"Everything happens for a reason". Whatever the reason is, I just want SB, Vince A. and Duncan R. to know that no matter what, we'll still be here to support you guys all the way. And thank you so much for making beautiful songs, sharing it with the rest of us, songs that kept and will continue to keep me company through all these years and in the years to come and most of all, thank you for all the wonderful people I met thru SB. :)

This is the mellow dramatic-slash-cheesy part of me typing... Yes, I have come to love SB with all of my heart, and I'm sure the "breakup" hurts them more than it hurts me but as they say, the show must go on.

Labels: doing it the soap-opera way, Si Dindin, South Border, That's Amore